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Glad to hear you can move forward and remember the happy times. Peg – I am so sorry you have had to deal with the loss of your husband. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Whatever that looks like for you, it is perfect and right. Only you can truly decide what it means to move on and move forward. Only you can decide what it means to let go or accept the loss you experienced. Only you can know when you are ready to move forward after your loss. No amount of pressure from others can make us move through our process any faster, not in any kind of healthy way. The process of grieving is unique to each of us. You will move through it at your unique pace and not one minute faster. There are no timelines or rules to the grieving process. They, however, cannot determine that for you. People will have all kinds of advice and well-meaning intentions about how you should move on, when you should do it, and what it should look like. Ultimately, You Get to Define “Moving On” for Yourself We move forward with life, embracing the fullness of it, even as our loss becomes part of who we now are. Grief can (and will) continue to remind us of our loss throughout our lifetimes, in different ways and at different times. We get stronger as we carry it, the edges of it round and dull, and with time it begins to take up less space in our lives. Loss and our experience of grief are integrated into our lives, not things we get rid of. Grief and loss are complex, multifaceted, and multilayered. Moving on is more about moving forward than being done. It doesn’t mean suddenly we’re done grieving and will never hurt again. Moving on from grief doesn’t mean a static end.

Moving On Doesn’t Mean the End of Grief, Either It’s about the brilliance of your love and the shadow of your loss coexisting in this complex and expansive experience we call living. It’s about remembering and honoring the one you loved while also embracing the beauty and fullness of the life you still get to live.

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It’s about learning to live a full and happy life even as you miss and long for what you have lost. It’s not about grieving or forgetting, happy or sad, black or white. Moving on is more about learning to live what I call a both/and life rather than an either/or life. I suspect that the primary difficulty many of us have with the phrase “moving on” is that it often feels as if we’re being told to forget our loved one or the relationship we once had. You are not responsible for making them feel more comfortable. It’s difficult to watch someone we love hurting so deeply.īut other people’s discomfort with your grief is their business, not yours. Let’s face it-being with someone who is in pain and grieving isn’t the easiest of experiences. The truth is, what they actually want is for us to stop making them uncomfortable about our pain.

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